AFTER DIAGNOSIS

ONCE WE GET THE DIAGNOSIS, OUR WORLD IS TURNED UPSIDE DOWN. SUDDENLY EVERYTHING MAKES DIFFERENT SENSE, WE LOOK AT THE UNIVERSE DIFFERENTLY, WE RELATE DIFFERENTLY TO OUR FAMILY, FRIENDS, ACQUAINTANCES.

Just as we are physically affected, we are also emotionally affected by the knowledge that we have cancer. These are the emotions and thoughts that we would like to share with you now, so that you know that all feelings are normal after diagnosis.

Let's look together at the feelings and thoughts we may have after we know we have cancer. We also try to help you understand how to deal with them so that you can make the best contribution to your own recovery.

• We often feel angry, angry at the world and ask ourselves, "Why me?" - We can give in to our emotions, we don't have to appear strong. Let's cry, let's yell, let's vent our anger and not hold it in just to appear strong to others. The held back anger continues to destroy and work inside us, and we need to get rid of it somehow. Let's think about how we could most effectively manage our own anger before diagnosis and help ourselves. Let's go out and play sports, talk, watch a movie, even smash a plate on the floor. The point is to relieve our bad feelings.

• We can feel sad, depressed and lonely. These feelings are common and there is nothing wrong with them. If it feels good to retreat into our thoughts, let's do it, if it gives us relief to lie down and relax, let's dare to do it. The important thing is to do what is best for us. But try not to get too deep in our emotions and try to be as positive as possible about the illness, because that attitude will be important throughout the recovery process. It is only natural that our emotions are constantly changing. Not only do we feel differently from day to day, but our emotions can change from one hour to the next, and sometimes even from one minute to the next.

• Don't be surprised if your eating and sleeping habits change. Some people eat more, others eat or sleep less. We may have diarrhoea, headaches, feel weak or even dizzy. All this can easily be a consequence of a changed life situation. But keep in mind that if these symptoms are very strong, you should talk to your doctor. However, eat healthily as much as possible, spend time in nature and do activities that are good for you. Don't be ashamed to feel good about ourselves, we need to feel proud of ourselves in this big fight. Sleep is very important for a healthy nervous system, so get a good night's sleep even during the day if you can.

• It's natural not to want to be alone right now. You don't have to force it either. If we feel we need someone's company, we should take the necessary steps and ask people we know to help us in this difficult and unusual situation. Ask them to visit us, even daily, whether they are family, friends or colleagues. They will understand the situation and will certainly be happy to help if they can. Don't feel uncomfortable asking. It is just as new to them and we make it easier for them if we are clear about what we need.

• Dare and want to talk, if it makes you feel good. Find friends, family members or even colleagues with whom you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts. Everyone around us will feel good if we share our pain and sadness with them and they will be grateful for our honesty and trust. Try to surround yourself with understanding, empathetic people, as the goal is to have uplifting, pleasant conversations as much as possible in this unusual situation.

• We can also feel that our environment does not understand us, because they do not know what we are going through. Indeed, they cannot know. If it is important for us to talk to people who are struggling with similar problems, we should look for such groups. You can find more support groups online, but if you prefer to go and talk about your problems in person, see if you can find a support group that's right for you. However, make sure that the group is made up of really positive, supportive people, as a positive attitude is one of the biggest aids to recovery.

• We can also be overcome by the feeling that we don't feel like doing anything. We don't want to go to work, we don't want to meet anyone, we don't care what's going on in the world, we just want to shut ourselves in and turn in on ourselves. We can do that temporarily, but in the long run, turning away from the world not only doesn't help, but can make things worse. Instead, we should stick to our daily routines, get up on time, get dressed, go to work, go shopping, take care of family and friends. As difficult as it is, these are the sure things we can build on in the period ahead to do our best to recover. It is natural, however, that everything in our lives will take on new meaning, and that is as it should be. Allow ourselves to look at our work (including housework) in a different light, to be more forgiving of ourselves, this is not the time to prove our super strength. Let's put ourselves in focus and dare to take life more casually, shedding the difficulties that have held us back.

We would like to be positive about the diagnosis, but we can't quite manage it? This is part of what is really not an easy process. In our quest for inner harmony, try the following:

• do yoga, meditation, go for a walk even if it is hard to get up - the power of nature can work wonders 
• read, watch films, play games, talk
• treat yourself to a good bath, a nice dinner, a glass of good wine or open a box of fine chocolates 
• watch, listen to and read stories that are true stories of cancer survivors - draw strength from them and concentrate on moving your thoughts in that direction.

And what's most important? To have the courage to live - not to think that we can't feel good in this situation. Of course we can, in fact! You might just be opening the door that could change your whole life!